Hear Me Roar

Image by Rob Bonneywell

We were at the park the other day and a child pushed the Bear over. For no reason, with no provocation, nothing. I think it came about because the Bear walked past the other kids castle. He didn't knock it over, he didn't even look at it, he just walked past it. And this boy pushed him over.   That by itself isn't what got me so mad (although my first instinct was to rush over and push the child over myself......no, don't stress, I didn't actually do it), kids are kids and do things like that. The thing that really got my blood boiling was that this child's Mother watched the whole thing and didn't do a thing. Didn't reproach him, didn't check the Bear was ok, didn't even glance at me even though it was blatantly clear I was his Mum, didn't do a thing. She continued to learn up against the fence, looking bored out of her brain, and kept typing on her phone. That got my blood boiling, got my inner Mummy Lion roaring.

That inner Mummy Lion is a powerful thing. It's such a strong, overwhelming and fierce desire to protect your child. I normally hate confrontation but by god, mess with my little ones and I'll march in claws bared. It's not even a voluntary reaction, it's an immediate instinctive thing, a desire to throw back my head and roar "do NOT mess with my babies!". And I don't think that's a bad thing, as long as it's kept in check. I don't think it would be helpful or healthy for anyone involved to have a Mum follow her child around snarling at anyone who upsets them! Although I used to see a fair bit of that when I was teaching - parent's who would call up demanding an interview, furious because their little Johnny didn't get the first pick for something, or wanting another child to be kicked out of the class because they stole their child's pencil and made them cry (and yes, that is a true story).

I think my inner Lion is amplified by the fact that the Bear is really gentle. He doesn't push, he doesn't shove, he will happily stand back to let other people go in front of him in a line even if it means he ends up waiting AGES for a turn on the slide. He happily shares his toys, voluntarily offering some if he sees somebody missing out. He is a true gentleman. Trouble is he expects everyone else to be the same and is quite shocked when they don't behave the same way. He doesn't speak up for himself if some snatches something away, or hurts him. He just looks at them with big wide eyes, not comprehending why they are behaving that way.

So my current mission is to pass some of my Mummy Lion strength onto the Bear himself. Give him some Baby Lion confidence. I'm teaching him to respond if someone snatches something away from him, that he has every right to say "No, I'm playing with that, you can have it when I'm done" and to take it back. That if someone is doing something he doesn't like can absolutely tell them to stop it. I'm encouraging him to keep his place in a line so he doesn't always get shoved to the back, to stand up for himself when needed. He'll get there. My Bear will learn to roar. Or should be be growl, a sound more appropriate for a bear? :) Either way he'll get there, and in the mean time I'll be there to help when necessary.

Roar :)