Then and Now

Image by Danilo Rizzuti

Today has been one of those lovely Mummy days that you read about in story books. Both little ones woke as happy as can be, the Bear opening his eyes and instantly chatting excitedly about the theme park we plan on visiting soon, and the Butterfly giggling to herself as we opened the door to her room.

The little ones happily rolled balls back and forward to each other (well in all fairness the Bear rolled the balls back and forward, the Butterfly scooped them up with delight and refused to let them go again), we had egg and spoon races around the front yard, we hung balloons from the ceiling and danced among them, bopping them with our heads and hands as we went, we curled up on blankets and read stories, we pulled funny faces and laughed until our sides hurt. It was just lovely.

These are the types of days that make me burst with happiness at where I am in life. And this is coming from someone who never, never EVER wanted children. I had my life planned - I would travel and experience life in as many different countries as possible. I would meet so many different types of people, glimpse life through their eyes. I would study, I would work, and I would end up with an academic career. I would be free.

I knew exactly what I didn't want as well. I didn't want to be tied down. I did not want children.

And then I met my hubby, and then I got clucky :)

But you know what? Somehow, somewhere along the lines, I've got the best of both worlds. I have traveled, both by myself and with my husband. And I am so looking forward to travelling with my children, to showing them all the hundreds of different ways life can be lived, of introducing them to the countries, the cities and the villages that make my heart sing. Through my children's eyes I see everything anew. I meet old friends for the first time as I watch my son shyly introduce himself then slowly relax as he recognizes the lovely people they are. And my dream of being free? I have never felt more free in my entire life than when I am holding the hand of the Bear and running, running with all of our might, along the beach. Or when I'm dancing with the Butterfly and she's laughing so much she throws her little head back and closes her eyes. These people, these tiny little people, have added more to my life than I ever knew possible.

I'm not saying every day is perfect. Some days leave me in tears, or wanting to soak in a hot bath for hours on end. But today? Today was bliss.